I write this letter with heavy heart. In fact, even as I type it, I’m using you, and I don’t feel good about that at all. But the truth of the matter, Ms. Jane Toshiba Laptop, is that I’m seeing someone else, and I have been for some time. Her name (you deserve to know it) is Samsung Galaxy S3. I just call her “Smartphone”.
You’re asking what happened. All I can tell you is that I never intended this. At first, there were no feelings involved. At first, she just helped me get by when I was traveling. Over time, we’ve grown close, and I’ve been sneaking around with her everywhere… while I leave you at home. I know you’re willing and able to travel, too. But to be honest, you’re big and bulky, while she’s small, and sleek, and sexy.
I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m not paying as much attention to you as I should. I wonder if you’ve seen me texting with her, or making plans to eat with her… or dreaming of our next vacation. Sure, I still turn to you when I need to fill out a form, or write a letter like this, or look at a website that’s not yet optimized for Smartphone. But more and more often, I’m finding myself holding her in my hands instead of putting you on my lap. She’s one of the last things I think about at night, and I check her out first thing in the morning.
The thing is, I’m not the only one that’s doing this. If it’s cheating, it’s happening everywhere… and men and women both are doing it. Pew Research Center said that as of January 2013, 45% of American adults had a relationship with a “Smartphone” of their own. Every month, they’re spending more time with Smartphone, and less time with the little CPU that’s waiting for them at home. I guess it’s just the way the world has changed.
Look, I admit that I still need you. I know. I’m a dog. I’ve just come to assume that you’ll be there when I truly need you. This is really awkward to say, but I hope that won’t change. This isn’t goodbye, just “so long for now”. And if you ever need me, you know I’ll be there. Just text me, send me a tweet, or drop me a line on Facebook. I’ll get it almost instantly (oh, the shame…).